butterfly_sunrider: (Love Phoenix and Despair)
Finally, the Cat has come back to OMFG DONG BANG FUCKING SHIN KI YOU GUISE



So Imma bout to do what I do best and that's LAY THE SMACK DOWN ON YOUR CANDY ASS NO STEAL YOUR TV AND JUMP OUT THE WINDOW NO, DROOL OVER GORGEOUS KOREAN MEN AND TRY TO BE FUNNY AT THE SAME TIME.

That's right, bitches. It's time...



NO.



MAYBE.



YES.


I MEAN NO! It's time to wrap up Save the Drama for Your Umma with my VERY SPECIAL RECAP of UNFORGETTABLE LOVE!!!

It all starts with that cad Yunho having a date on White Day and OMG IT'S NOT JAEJOONG. WHAT IS LIFE. WHAT IS AIR.

It's a blind date. THAT'S RIGHT, SOME RANDOM LUCKY BITCH GETS TO GO OUT ON A DATE WITH YUNHO. Excuse me while I go buy a new monitor because I just threw mine out the window.

The rest of the boys, being single and miserable thanks to smothering fangirls, NO contract stipulations, NO the ~pressures of fame~, sit around getting drunk on soju and proceed to have an orgy, then upload it on the internet NO painting their nails, eating ice cream, and crying while watching some yet-to-exist Kim Jae Wook drama through the miracle of Changmin's reality-warping powers NO, BUT YOU'RE GETTING WARMER.

Mmm...Kim Jae Wook.



*ahem*

clicky da fake linky... )
butterfly_sunrider: (Love Phoenix and Despair)


The first time I didn't feel it, but this time I feel it, and I can't deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!

You really like me! )
butterfly_sunrider: (Always Keep the Faith)

You know what time it is?





NO IT'S NOT 2PM SIT DOWN SMARTYPANTS.



It's time to pick up from where I left off last time, which was telling you how slave labor starts about how TVXQ's increasing popularity led to INCREASED EXPLOITATION IN THE FORM OF BANJUN DRAMAS YAY.

Go straight to Yaoi. Do not pass go, do not collect $200... )
butterfly_sunrider: (Always Keep the Faith)
When we last left off, I insinuated that our Dong Bang Boys MAY HAVE BEEN A LITTLE OVERWORKED STARTING ABOUT 2005-6 JFC.

AHEM.

There were of course, promotions for Rising Sun, which turned out to be a JUGGERNAUT, BITCH! Naturally, SME said to themselves, "How can we squeeze more money out of these guys get more exposure for TVXQ?"

Answer: BANJUN DRAMAS!!!

This collection of totally unrelated episodes may not have garnered any acting awards for the boys like they had for their hyung, Rain (HALLOWED BE HIS NAME) they are HEARTBREAKING WORKS OF STAGGERING GENIUS OKAY.

*cracks knuckles*

THIS IS GONNA GET EPIC.


... )
butterfly_sunrider: (Default)
Chunniliciousness ahoy!

This is a short one.

We pick up where we left off; in the classroom with Obsessive Fangirl Expy throwing a shit fit. Yunho being all possessive responds to OFE's charges that Hye Bin don't got game by AGREEING WITH HER and then saying he's GOING TO FILL HER UP IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Hye Bin just looks confused. Yoochun gets this look that says ALL RIGHT HO, YOU FUCKING ASKED FOR IT and finally decides to play his trump card, which is stripping NO, grabbing his crotch while licking his lips and giving a "come hither" stare, NO, playing the piano like some sort of beautiful demigod. He just has to wait for the right moment...


...which coincidentally comes along in the VERY NEXT SCENE I AM NOT FUCKING KIDDING YOU. Ms. Dominatrix has hurt her finger and requests Yoochun to come to the front of the class and bang her on top of the piano play the piano for her. He acquieses, but only so he can "play a piano piece for the PERSON I love" and since Ms. Dominatrix thinks it's her, she allows it.

PERSON.

NOW.

YAOI FANGIRLS, LISTEN UP.

THIS STATEMENT COULD BE OPEN TO INTERPRETATION. I believe that I would not be incorrect in stating that 2U was being heavily shipped at the time, even being pushed by SM (may they rot in hell). The tension between Yoochun and Yunho in scenes where they are alone is pretty fucking palpable, and Yoochun stares at Yunho in this scene almost as much as he gives meaningful glances to Hye Bin. I'M JUST PUTTING THIS OUT THERE.

HOWEVER, after Yoochun puts his pimp hands down on the piano and lots of meaningful glances are exchanged, we get OMG A FLASHBACK wherein we find out that not only does Yoochun suffer from gender confusion, but that Hye Bin is his NEW OLD FLAME, which kind of makes you wonder about why he let Yunho treat her the way he has.

AHEM.

There is an OBLIGATORY YOOCHUN CRYING MOMENT and then fluid transfer via lollipop I TOLD YOU IT HAD MEANING before we dissolve back to the present. The teacher is weeping because HE'S A STUDENT, SHE'S A TEACHER AND IT'S JUST WRONG and also because she's missed all the MEANINGFUL LOOKS being exchanged. Yoochun, ever the Pimp, ignores her and keeps playing while Yunho gives him the death stare. OH IT'S ON, NOW.

AND HERE

WE

GO

It's time for a confrontation. It's just Yoochun and Yunho IN AN EMPTY ROOM WITH LOTS OF FLAT SURFACES IN THEIR SCHOOLBOY UNIFORMS UNF. Again, it's a tribute to Yunho's abilities that he does not come off as a possessive asshole yet here (HATERS 2DALEFT). Instead, he looks kind of sad and frightened, like MOTHERFUCKER CAN'T I GET A BREAK?

Yunho: Do you...like Hye Bin?

Here is where Yoochun channels his pimp self.

Yoochun: Aren't I allowed to?

NOW. PAUSE THIS SHIT BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT. LOOK AT YOOCHUN'S FACE.

Yoochun just said, WITH HIS FACE, "Bitch, you ain't got shit. And you kinda wanna kiss me now, don't you? Yes. You. Do."

And Yunho responds by grabbing The Pimp by the lapels and pulling him precariously closer to his lips. I SHIT YOU NOT. But, since this is, believe it or not, NOT A 2U FANFIC, Yunho, feeling a little uncomfortable, lets him go. Yoochun mercifully does not smack a Ho. Yunho, being the genius that he is (look it up, motherfucker is an INVENTOR) takes a different course of action.

Basically, he tells The Pimp that he can like her all he wants, but it'll have to be that LOVE FROM AFAR sort of thing. Because, U-Know (hee, I made a funny), THAT'LL WORK.

Yoochun does not take kindly to this. He's all WHAT YOU GONNA DO BOUT IT, HUH? YOU GONNA STOP ME?

Yunho slaps his hands onto Yoochuns' beautiful, wide shoulders, leans in real close and kisses him says OH YOU JUST WAIT I'M BRINGING IN THE BIG GUNS NOW, YOU CRYBABY MOTHERFUCKER.

And they stand there, their lips mere inches apart for about 8 tension-filled seconds.
butterfly_sunrider: (Nummyunho)
First Love Part Two with English subtitles. Still made of gold and crack.

We open with Hye Bin just having finished with the cleaning of the gym per the orders from her BDSM master Yunho, when suddenly...

Obsessive Fangirl Expy comes on the scene. Here's where it gets a little weird. OFE has two younger male groupies (perhaps she is modeling herself after Ms. Dominatrix?) who wear skirts for no apparent reason. OFE demands that Hye Bin forget all about Yunho...because Yunho is hers, despite the fact that we have seen no evidence of this to this point. Hye Bin is as confused as we are, and even more clueless about her own situation. She claims not to like Yunho, which sets OFE off.

Hye Bin: I don't like guys like Yunho. (LIES!)
OFE: Bitch, you crazy.

And like anyone remotely aware of reality, OFE attempts to smack some sense into Hye Bin, only to be foiled by Yoochun and his Pimp Hand. Again Hye Bin and Yoochun exchange MEANINGFUL LOOKS THAT LEAD TO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING GAH.

Cut to: Sports class.

Now, I'm a little confused here, because unless I am mistaken, Yunho had ordered Hye Bin to the gym directly after school and then told her to CLEAN UP HIS DAMN MESS WOMAN. Unless she was up all night cleaning up after the kumdo club, people should be, you know, GOING HOME AT SOME POINT. But no, it's now sports class, so perhaps it is true that Hye Bin was up all night cleaning. ANYWAY, Hye Bin makes a not so subtle effort to get close to Yoochun during warmups, an action which inflames Yunho's jealousy. MOAR MEANINGFUL LOOKS ARE EXCHANGED OMG, Yunho pouts and plots his revenge and Ms. Dominatrix shows up because her body is rigid OMFG I WISH I WERE KIDDING. So too is the Submissive Gym Teacher, who rescues her from lawsuit hell after she attempts to engage Yunho and Yoochun in a threesome some flexibility-testing exercises. Ahem. SGT sends Yunho and Yoochun off to play team basketball (what could go wrong?) and then leads Ms.Dominatrix away for some diaper play and spankings "stretching".

Cut to: Basketball game.

IT IS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG, FOLKS.

Each boy has his own cheering section and like the naughty, disobedient girl she is (that or very, very clever) Hye Bin sits in the Yoochun section. Yunho makes a basket. Obsessive Fangirl Expy flails. BUT YUNHO CARES NOT FOR OBSESSIVE FANGIRL EXPY. He looks straight to Hye Bin for approval. She looks bored. Yunho is sad. Yoochun takes advantage of his opponent's emotional state and jukes him, scoring a basket for his team. Yoochun looks to Hye Bin for approval and SINCE HE IS THE PIMP AND ALL, he gets it. This only upsets Yunho more. He gets desperate. So he fouls Yoochun, which was a bad call on his part, because now Hye Bin thinks he's an even bigger jerk. When he sees the horrified look on her face, he is devastated. At this point, I'm beginning to wonder who really is the sensitive one here.

The Boys continue their PUBLIC DICK-SWINGING CONTEST (WHICH IF IT WERE REAL,YUNHO WOULD BE THE UNDISPUTED CHAMPION)...



...one-upping each other, but we never see who wins the game (foreshadowing) and we cut abruptly to Hye Bin in her room mooning over Yoochun. Everything he does is dreamy, including getting knocked on his ass by Yunho, apparently. She is, for the good of us all, interrupted from her reverie by the UNF UNF bass tones of Yunho, calling to her from underneath her bedroom window JUST LIKE ROMEO AND JULIET OMG.

Cue: Yunho in all his Rising Sun glory, leaning on his motorcycle, beckoning her to him with a single finger UNF. She obeys her Master and comes outside. If you are familiar with very basic Korean, you will hear her address him as "Yunho-yah", which means they have a close relationship (so much for not liking him). Like a good Master, he replies frostily, "Why weren't you at Kumdo practice? Who told you to go home without the word of your owner?" BECAUSE I'D LIKE TO GET SOME SLEEP SOME TIME THIS WEEK, she did not answer. Instead she tries to act all ignorant about the terms of their arrangement. Yunho gently puts her in her place and then tells her to get on his bike. It may surprise you to note that he says all these things as tenderly and gently as he does, yet firmly, like a father chastising a wayward child. It's called subtlety, and it's one more fine example of Yunho's acting ability. HATERS 2 DA LEFT.

What comes next is a scene that if you found the "Henry the XIII" story from Ghost romantic (the "I annoyed her until she agreed to go out on a date with me" method), you will swoon like mad here. Yunho takes Hye Bin for a ride on his motorcycle. As he speeds through Seoul and she shrieks in fright he offers her a few options:

Do you want to go out with me or do you want to fall into the HanGang River?!

Do you want to go out with me, or do you want to die together?! Trust me, it's kinda funny and charming IN CONTEXT. Especially when followed with:

Do you want to go out with me or do you want to buy me dinner?!

FOR A MOMENT, JUST A MOMENT, SHE SMILES before returning back to being terror-stricken. Yunho smiles.

What? You're going to go out with me?

AND LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SHE FINALLY GIVES IN TO THE YUNHO CHARM.

He smiles the sweetest smile, then accelerates the motorbike even more, causing her to spontaneously wrap her arms around his midsection. You know, like she probably should have been doing the whole time SO SHE DOESN'T FUCKING FALL OFF JFC.

The next day...the classroom is filled with gossip. Yunho has already put the word out, it seems, and Yoochun is the last one to know. The couple enter the room with Hye Bin looking like they'd just had sex on his motorbike in the parking lot. Yunho makes sure to show any doubters what is really up by insisting that Hye Bin sit with him. What is amazing is that Yoochun is even shocked about this turn of events. Obsessed Fangirl Expy is beyond pissed.

Yoochun is going to have to bring his A game if he wants to keep up even a semblance of a position in this little love triangle. But don't worry, he's got something in his pants up his sleeve.
butterfly_sunrider: (Nummyunho)
First Love Part 1. Eng Subs. Even if you have to read my commentary first, just watch it. It is made of gold and crack.

First Love burns so good. It feels so right and yet is so wrong. I am talking, of course, of the Banjun Drama that starred Yuhno and Yoochun back in the day. As if written by a brilliant and perverted fangirl forced to work under the typical restraints of K-dramas starring pop idols, First Love seems to be a statement on repressed sexuality. Indeed, unless I am mistaken, given my western gaze, there is a whole lot of kinky going on.
I said, a whole lotta kinky going on... )

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