Butterfly Sunrider (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
butterfly_sunrider) wrote2009-08-29 08:23 am
butterfly_sunrider) wrote2009-08-29 08:23 am
Fangirl Skills Are Sometimes Amazing Chapter Three: Love Bye Love
Warnings: Het!Fic ahoy.
Legal Notice: Dong Bang Shin Ki belongs to themselves and SM Entertainment (boo! hiss!). Everything else is mine.
Rating: PG-13 for language
First Chapter Second Chapter
Yesterday, she could swear she heard him cry out for her. That was right before the pain came, causing her to drop her guitar and scream in agony in the middle of a warm-up. Needless to say, Kite Flying Society's concert that night was canceled. Back at their rehearsal space on Haight, the band threatened mutiny...before Sophie put them all to sleep with nary a word.
Until recently, every time Sophie Bangs went to bed, she would fall asleep to the sound of Park Yoochun's voice. It had been mainly a focus at that point, but she couldn't deny that there was no sound in the world that was sweeter to her ears. Last summer, she had decided that life in San Francisco didn't really require a car, so she sold her purple Mini Cooper in order to afford the astronomical costs of seeing Dong Bang Shin Ki at SMTown Live '08. She had front row tickets; the best seats she had ever scored, but even as she filed to her seat that fateful day last summer in the Olympic Main Stadium, she never knew how her life would change.
It was raining. Given her close proximity to the stage, she was kicking herself for wearing her white v-neck, cleavage-plunging t-shirt, but at this point it couldn't be helped. She managed to maintain her dignity during the other acts by crossing her arms over her chest, but when it was time for TVXQ to take the stage, out came her red glow sticks and she forgot all about her plans for being presentable.
Sophie had thought they were all reasonably good-looking guys from what she had seen in pictures and on TV. In person, however, they looked like gods, and the part of that concert that she has replayed over and over in her mind was the infamous performance of "Rising Sun". Though they were all ridiculously attractive, Sophie could not keep her eyes off of Yoochun. It only got worse after he opened his jacket and started grabbing his crotch.
She thought she had imagined it at first, but he had looked at her, several times in fact. He had looked right at her and had winked more than once, but she thought, Oh, he does this all the time. No big deal. Nope. Oh my fucking God, he looked at me.
But she didn't really freak out until two days later, when Yoochun posted a picture of the most recent cd she'd made with Kite Flying Society, on his cyworld. That would have been innocent enough, but for the accompanying note:
An internet shitstorm of epic proportions ensued. Yoochun deleted the message, but the damage had been done. Cassies wanted to know who this bitch was and her bandmates wanted to know why the tour dates in Tokyo that they had worked so hard for had been postponed.
Six months later, the worst of it was over, and Kite Flying Society played a five-night stand at a small club in downtown Tokyo called Shiva's, which was owned by Midori Mifune. All throughout the show, Sophie felt like she was being caressed by a warm and sweet summer breeze and though it was unexpected, being that it was February and all, the little wind helped to soothe her jangled nerves. Bumping into Midori on her way to the dressing room after the last show, she complimented the crime queen on the exemplary ventilation system in place.
Midori blinked. "It isn't very nice to be sarcastic to a yakuza, Sophie. The ventilation system here is shit. But thanks for the reminder, sweet cheeks!"
Sophie shivered nervously. "I didn't mean any disrespect, Miss Mifune. It's just that..."
Midori raised an eyebrow. "It's just what?"
Sophie gulped. "It felt like...a zephyr."
Midori's face froze, then melted into a knowing smile as she nodded. "Ah yes. West wind. Greek mythology and all that."
Sophie breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes, exactly."
Midori clapped Sophie on the back and winked. "That explains your dressing room. Looks like you might have a weather controller for a fanboy. Tootles!"
Sophie's eyes widened. Then she ran to her dressing room, which was banked with gardenias. The note on her dressing room table read:
See You in My Dreams. It was the title of her favorite song that she'd written, and she'd written it in a silly pique of a schoolgirl crush about him. Perhaps he liked it too. It was not an invitation, no, definitely not. Even if it could be arranged. As a mutant Psion of some considerable power, Sophie used magic as a focus and often astrally projected herself, but mostly to goof around and play pranks on her friends. He's just being sweet and clever and wonderful and you must forget all about this madness, she thought.
It's not an invitation. Nope.
But her subconscious was more powerful than her will and that night in her cramped hotel room filled with the scent of gardenia, Sophie Bangs dreamed.
She dreamt that she skipped across the ocean like a stone and found herself standing on a beach, facing east towards the water. Angry waves crashed against the shore and snow mixed with rain beat against her skin. As she spread her arms out wide, layer after layer of sleet covered her until she was becoming encased in ice. As she froze into place, she began to realize that this wasn't her dream, for approaching her as he floated above the tumultuous waves was Park Yoochun.
He flew to her and wrapped her in his arms until she thawed and was warm and dry, all the while surrounded by the sweet whirling zephyr. Yoochun crooned and whispered in her ear, but Sophie was so blissed out that she had no idea what he was saying. It was like being high on ecstasy and under water at the same time.
And then she woke up. Four hours? You've got to be fucking kidding me.
No matter how hard she tried, she could not get back into his dreamspace. Had he kicked her out? No matter, she had a melody she couldn't get out of her head and by the afternoon, after much plugging away at her SG Rose Burst Goddess, she posted a new song onto youtube the she called Zephyr.
Two hours later, she received an message through Kite Flying Society's website:
Sophie fell out of her chair. Then she deleted the song from youtube. On the flight back to San Francisco that night, she tried again and this time, she was less passive. She had clearly fallen asleep earlier, so she got her dreamspace ready. Downtown Chicago. Christmastime.
And she waited. When she could feel that Yoochun had fallen asleep, she reached out into the dreaming and pulled him into her dream.
Her dark auburn hair piled high, in her best little black dress and wrapped in a black wool pea coat, Sophie skittered down State Street as fast as her Jimmy Choos could carry her. She had just passed the Chicago Theatre when she saw him standing under the Marshall Fields clock, his breath white and misty against the black night and twinkling city lights. He was so handsome in his white oxford, jeans and black wool overcoat that she had to stop and catch her breath, and it only got worse when he lit up at the sight of her. They both started to run. They met in the middle of the block and stopped abruptly; like a couple of teenagers on their first date, they had no idea what to do. Deciding to play it safe, Sophie moved in to give Yoochun a hug and he brushed her cheek softly with his lips, whispering "You didn't have to get all dressed up, you know."
"It's okay. I wanted to."
Yoochun backed up and offered Sophie his arm. "So, are you going to give me the tour?"
He found the animatronic fairy tale displays in the windows of Marshall Fields antiquated but charming, the preacher in front of Old Navy annoying but amusing, the mulled wine at the Christkindlmarket warm and delicious and the Bean just plain silly.
As they walked down Michigan Avenue towards the Water Tower, Sophie turned to Yoochun and asked, "You don't have much more time, do you? Only four hours of sleep, with your lifestyle...it must be rough."
He smiled sadly. "You're right." He paused, looking off into the distance as Sophie cooked up one more delight for him. "There's one more thing I want to do, though."
He took off towards his goal, taking Sophie with him. The bustling holiday shopping crowd parted to reveal a horse and carriage, which they hopped into as quickly as they could. Snuggling up next to Yoochun, Sophie whispered, "I don't want it to end."
"Me neither. Did you do all this?" He waved his hand about.
"Part of it is from memory, part of it I make up on the fly. But yeah, I guess you could say I did all this."
Yoochun sighed. "Amazing."
"Did you like it?" It felt strange to her, fishing for compliments this way, and she hoped that he didn't think worse of her for it. Her fears dissipated when he smiled warmly at her.
"Would you like me to show you how much I liked it?"
Gulp.
Yoochun's hand caressed her cheek and slid down to her chin, lifting it so he could look into her eyes. Sophie blinked. He closed his eyes and moved in closer to her. She closed her eyes and moved in closer, feeling the soft snowflakes on her eyelids and his breath on her face. Just as their lips touched...
She woke up. Oh for fucks' sake. "Miss," intoned the chirpy flight attendant, "the plane has landed. Welcome to San Francisco."
Home Sweet Motherfucking Home.
They went on meeting this way for months. Six months, to be exact. They didn't meet every night, or even every week, as both of their schedules were erratic, but in their dreams, together, they visited Montmartre, Osaka, Bora Bora, Las Vegas, Moscow, Cairo, Reykjavik, Hong Kong, Amsterdam, Barcelona and Rio de Janiero. Sometimes they just did little things like go out for ramen or karaoke, take in a movie or play in the snow. But Sophie didn't know what to call their relationship, if it could indeed be called a relationship. They never saw each other in the flesh or talked on the phone. The only proof that there was anything going on between them was the occasional cryptic messages on his cyworld but even in their dreams, Yoochun was...evasive.
One week ago, Yoochun was sitting on the living room floor of the apartment in Tokyo that he shared with the other members of TVXQ. He was staring at the clock. It was their anniversary tonight. What the fuck do I do for a girl I only spend time with in my head?
Changmin, who was lounging in the loveseat with his long legs draped over one of the arms of said chair, looked up from his book about lucha libre and inquired, "Why don't you tell that nice girl you love her? I love you with all my heart, if I don't see you soon, I'm gonna die."
"Min, you need to stop quoting from The Godfather and stay the fuck out of my head," snapped Yoochun.
"Ooh, a bit defensive, aren't you?" Changmin cackled mercilessly, but when he saw Yoochun's face, full of conflicting emotions, his demeanor softened and he whispered, "Hyung. Why don't you tell her you love her?"
Yoochun turned away. "It won't last. Nothing lasts. Not for me. I'll find a way to mess things up and break her heart. She deserves better."
Changmin's jaw dropped. "Chun, she totally wants to ride your peen in real life. You know that, right?"
Yoochun grunted. "First of all, it creeps me the fuck out that you know these things. Secondly, I could walk outside and find five girls in as many seconds that want the same thing."
Changmin sighed. "She loves you, hyung." Yoochun looked up at Changmin, who continued. "I see her energy signatures all over you. She's a Psion, isn't she?"
"Yeah."
"If she sensed anything unworthy about you, do you think she'd still be waiting for your dumb ass to make some sort of commitment?" When Yoochun said nothing, Changmin added, "Fucking man up, will you? Just because your parents split up, that doesn't make you destined to fail at love or whatever."
Yoochun rubbed his eyes, got to his feet, stretched and yawned. "I'm hitting the sack. Don't eavesdrop, Min."
Yoochun ran through the snow until he saw the shock of Sophie's dark red hair as she was sitting on a park bench facing away from him, her face tilted to the sky. She'd cut her long, wavy locks short and they'd quarreled about it the last time they were together. Honestly, he was surprised that she was even bothering to show up.
He was late. They would have even less time than usual. Yoochun's stomach clenched as he approached her. Crouching behind the park bench, he wrapped his arms around Sophie's shoulders and felt her sigh and melt into him. Finally, he could let himself relax. "Hap-Hi, there," he whispered into her ear.
She looked up at him and her mouth smiled but her eyes did not. "Hi."
"So..."
"So."
"You look nice. Dark green is a good color on you."
"Thank you."
There was something about the stilted way she was speaking. It unnerved him. Yoochun cleared his throat. "Do you want to walk?"
"Yes, that would be nice."
Yoochun moved to lace his fingers together with Sophie's, but she quickened her pace. He paused, confused, but quickly recovered. "Where are we?"
Steadily, she answered. "Lincoln Park, Chicago."
"Ah, back to the beginning, eh?"
"You could say that."
"Christmas again?"
"New Year's Eve." Sophie stopped and faced Lake Michigan. It was almost midnight and the fireworks were about to start. They were supposed to have caught a movie at the Music Box first, but he was too late for that. Oh well.
Yoochun spoke. "Do you know what I was doing last New Year's Eve?"
"No."
"Thinking about you." In the distance, Yoochun could hear the thousands of people gathered at Grant Park starting to count down from ten. Again, he tried to take her hand in his and this time he was successful. "I...I care about you Sophie. A lot." Yoochun shut his eyes tight to try to get the image of a scowling Changmin out of his mind.
7...6...5...
Sophie didn't stir at first. When she spoke, her voice was small, strained. "Do you love me, Yoochun-ah?"
Yoochun froze.
3...2...1. Happy New Year!
Sophie turned and looked into his eyes. Teardrops had frozen and clung to her cheeks and eyelashes. He blinked.
"That's what I thought. Happy Fucking Anniversary." Sophie let go of his hand and began to walk towards the lake again.
Yoochun ran after her. "What do you want from me?"
A nearby car started its engine. As it warmed up, out of its stereo came Charles Aznavour's "She". Yoochun wondered if that was her subconscious screaming out to him, but she turned and shouted, "I want you! I want to wake up and have you still there with me."
"You know that's impossible. We live on the road in completely different hemispheres. Even if we could make our schedules work, there are the fangirls."
"Oh yes. The fangirls. You care more about them than you do about me."
"That's not true! I just don't want you to get hurt."
Sophie called over her shoulder. "Wow, you're just doing a bang-up job of that, aren't you?"
"Hey, aren't you a fangirl? Because I seem to remember seeing you in the front row of one of my concerts."
Sophie froze. "Did you just compare me to a groupie?"
Make it quick, Yoochun. Just like ripping off a band-aid. That way it'll hurt less. "What, did you think you were my girlfriend?"
It broke his heart to see her face fall, but this was for her own good. He just wasn't prepared for her response. "I thought I was your She."
"What?"
"Shisus, Chun. Learn the lyrics. Maybe you won't mangle them next time."
"Fuck you."
Sophie bent down briefly, then stood back up. She had a snowball in her hand and she chucked it at Yoochun's face. Hard. She looked surprised that he had let her do it, but then she turned and ran. This time, he didn't try to follow her. Instead, he sat down on a nearby park bench and tried to will himself to wake up. He heard Changmin's voice.
"That was fucking weak."
"I thought I told you to stay out of my head."
"And I did, until your weak shit woke me up."
"Leave me alone."
"Fine."
"Good."
"I will."
"Do it, then."
Suddenly, Park Yoochun was alone. And he wept bitterly until he woke himself up crying.
Sophie Bangs had slept in dreamless sleep for days. She hadn't gone onto the internet, she hadn't listened to her iPod, she hadn't eaten ramen, she hadn't gone to the movies and she hadn't played her piano. As if that wasn't enough, she seemed to have come down with a nasty case of the flu as she was sore all over and couldn't keep anything down but crackers and tea. There were too many things in her life that reminded her of Yoochun and she didn't want to give him the chance to creep back under her skin again; that is, until she heard the news. After sitting on the floor, shaking and crying for three hours, she checked her email and read the urgent message from Frequency. It was worse than she had thought.
It was at that point that she packed a backpack with only the absolute essentials, stepped outside of her apartment in San Francisco's Inner Sunset, rose herself up into the air and took off at supersonic speed towards Seoul.
Legal Notice: Dong Bang Shin Ki belongs to themselves and SM Entertainment (boo! hiss!). Everything else is mine.
Rating: PG-13 for language
First Chapter Second Chapter
Yesterday, she could swear she heard him cry out for her. That was right before the pain came, causing her to drop her guitar and scream in agony in the middle of a warm-up. Needless to say, Kite Flying Society's concert that night was canceled. Back at their rehearsal space on Haight, the band threatened mutiny...before Sophie put them all to sleep with nary a word.
Until recently, every time Sophie Bangs went to bed, she would fall asleep to the sound of Park Yoochun's voice. It had been mainly a focus at that point, but she couldn't deny that there was no sound in the world that was sweeter to her ears. Last summer, she had decided that life in San Francisco didn't really require a car, so she sold her purple Mini Cooper in order to afford the astronomical costs of seeing Dong Bang Shin Ki at SMTown Live '08. She had front row tickets; the best seats she had ever scored, but even as she filed to her seat that fateful day last summer in the Olympic Main Stadium, she never knew how her life would change.
It was raining. Given her close proximity to the stage, she was kicking herself for wearing her white v-neck, cleavage-plunging t-shirt, but at this point it couldn't be helped. She managed to maintain her dignity during the other acts by crossing her arms over her chest, but when it was time for TVXQ to take the stage, out came her red glow sticks and she forgot all about her plans for being presentable.
Sophie had thought they were all reasonably good-looking guys from what she had seen in pictures and on TV. In person, however, they looked like gods, and the part of that concert that she has replayed over and over in her mind was the infamous performance of "Rising Sun". Though they were all ridiculously attractive, Sophie could not keep her eyes off of Yoochun. It only got worse after he opened his jacket and started grabbing his crotch.
She thought she had imagined it at first, but he had looked at her, several times in fact. He had looked right at her and had winked more than once, but she thought, Oh, he does this all the time. No big deal. Nope. Oh my fucking God, he looked at me.
But she didn't really freak out until two days later, when Yoochun posted a picture of the most recent cd she'd made with Kite Flying Society, on his cyworld. That would have been innocent enough, but for the accompanying note:
Saw you at SMTown in Seoul.
Nice to know the admiration is mutual, Sophie.
Your biggest fan,
Micky
Nice to know the admiration is mutual, Sophie.
Your biggest fan,
Micky
An internet shitstorm of epic proportions ensued. Yoochun deleted the message, but the damage had been done. Cassies wanted to know who this bitch was and her bandmates wanted to know why the tour dates in Tokyo that they had worked so hard for had been postponed.
Six months later, the worst of it was over, and Kite Flying Society played a five-night stand at a small club in downtown Tokyo called Shiva's, which was owned by Midori Mifune. All throughout the show, Sophie felt like she was being caressed by a warm and sweet summer breeze and though it was unexpected, being that it was February and all, the little wind helped to soothe her jangled nerves. Bumping into Midori on her way to the dressing room after the last show, she complimented the crime queen on the exemplary ventilation system in place.
Midori blinked. "It isn't very nice to be sarcastic to a yakuza, Sophie. The ventilation system here is shit. But thanks for the reminder, sweet cheeks!"
Sophie shivered nervously. "I didn't mean any disrespect, Miss Mifune. It's just that..."
Midori raised an eyebrow. "It's just what?"
Sophie gulped. "It felt like...a zephyr."
Midori's face froze, then melted into a knowing smile as she nodded. "Ah yes. West wind. Greek mythology and all that."
Sophie breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes, exactly."
Midori clapped Sophie on the back and winked. "That explains your dressing room. Looks like you might have a weather controller for a fanboy. Tootles!"
Sophie's eyes widened. Then she ran to her dressing room, which was banked with gardenias. The note on her dressing room table read:
Sophie,
I guess you're wondering about the breeze.
You looked cold, so I thought I'd warm you up.
I hope you like the flowers.
I noticed that you always wear one of these in your hair when you perform.
Is it because of Billie Holliday?
See You in My Dreams,
Micky
I guess you're wondering about the breeze.
You looked cold, so I thought I'd warm you up.
I hope you like the flowers.
I noticed that you always wear one of these in your hair when you perform.
Is it because of Billie Holliday?
See You in My Dreams,
Micky
See You in My Dreams. It was the title of her favorite song that she'd written, and she'd written it in a silly pique of a schoolgirl crush about him. Perhaps he liked it too. It was not an invitation, no, definitely not. Even if it could be arranged. As a mutant Psion of some considerable power, Sophie used magic as a focus and often astrally projected herself, but mostly to goof around and play pranks on her friends. He's just being sweet and clever and wonderful and you must forget all about this madness, she thought.
It's not an invitation. Nope.
But her subconscious was more powerful than her will and that night in her cramped hotel room filled with the scent of gardenia, Sophie Bangs dreamed.
~
She dreamt that she skipped across the ocean like a stone and found herself standing on a beach, facing east towards the water. Angry waves crashed against the shore and snow mixed with rain beat against her skin. As she spread her arms out wide, layer after layer of sleet covered her until she was becoming encased in ice. As she froze into place, she began to realize that this wasn't her dream, for approaching her as he floated above the tumultuous waves was Park Yoochun.
He flew to her and wrapped her in his arms until she thawed and was warm and dry, all the while surrounded by the sweet whirling zephyr. Yoochun crooned and whispered in her ear, but Sophie was so blissed out that she had no idea what he was saying. It was like being high on ecstasy and under water at the same time.
~
And then she woke up. Four hours? You've got to be fucking kidding me.
No matter how hard she tried, she could not get back into his dreamspace. Had he kicked her out? No matter, she had a melody she couldn't get out of her head and by the afternoon, after much plugging away at her SG Rose Burst Goddess, she posted a new song onto youtube the she called Zephyr.
Two hours later, she received an message through Kite Flying Society's website:
Hey, that's my song!
Are you still cold?
Sorry I couldn't stay. Come see me again. Please.
Micky
Are you still cold?
Sorry I couldn't stay. Come see me again. Please.
Micky
Sophie fell out of her chair. Then she deleted the song from youtube. On the flight back to San Francisco that night, she tried again and this time, she was less passive. She had clearly fallen asleep earlier, so she got her dreamspace ready. Downtown Chicago. Christmastime.
And she waited. When she could feel that Yoochun had fallen asleep, she reached out into the dreaming and pulled him into her dream.
~
Her dark auburn hair piled high, in her best little black dress and wrapped in a black wool pea coat, Sophie skittered down State Street as fast as her Jimmy Choos could carry her. She had just passed the Chicago Theatre when she saw him standing under the Marshall Fields clock, his breath white and misty against the black night and twinkling city lights. He was so handsome in his white oxford, jeans and black wool overcoat that she had to stop and catch her breath, and it only got worse when he lit up at the sight of her. They both started to run. They met in the middle of the block and stopped abruptly; like a couple of teenagers on their first date, they had no idea what to do. Deciding to play it safe, Sophie moved in to give Yoochun a hug and he brushed her cheek softly with his lips, whispering "You didn't have to get all dressed up, you know."
"It's okay. I wanted to."
Yoochun backed up and offered Sophie his arm. "So, are you going to give me the tour?"
He found the animatronic fairy tale displays in the windows of Marshall Fields antiquated but charming, the preacher in front of Old Navy annoying but amusing, the mulled wine at the Christkindlmarket warm and delicious and the Bean just plain silly.
As they walked down Michigan Avenue towards the Water Tower, Sophie turned to Yoochun and asked, "You don't have much more time, do you? Only four hours of sleep, with your lifestyle...it must be rough."
He smiled sadly. "You're right." He paused, looking off into the distance as Sophie cooked up one more delight for him. "There's one more thing I want to do, though."
He took off towards his goal, taking Sophie with him. The bustling holiday shopping crowd parted to reveal a horse and carriage, which they hopped into as quickly as they could. Snuggling up next to Yoochun, Sophie whispered, "I don't want it to end."
"Me neither. Did you do all this?" He waved his hand about.
"Part of it is from memory, part of it I make up on the fly. But yeah, I guess you could say I did all this."
Yoochun sighed. "Amazing."
"Did you like it?" It felt strange to her, fishing for compliments this way, and she hoped that he didn't think worse of her for it. Her fears dissipated when he smiled warmly at her.
"Would you like me to show you how much I liked it?"
Gulp.
Yoochun's hand caressed her cheek and slid down to her chin, lifting it so he could look into her eyes. Sophie blinked. He closed his eyes and moved in closer to her. She closed her eyes and moved in closer, feeling the soft snowflakes on her eyelids and his breath on her face. Just as their lips touched...
~
She woke up. Oh for fucks' sake. "Miss," intoned the chirpy flight attendant, "the plane has landed. Welcome to San Francisco."
Home Sweet Motherfucking Home.
They went on meeting this way for months. Six months, to be exact. They didn't meet every night, or even every week, as both of their schedules were erratic, but in their dreams, together, they visited Montmartre, Osaka, Bora Bora, Las Vegas, Moscow, Cairo, Reykjavik, Hong Kong, Amsterdam, Barcelona and Rio de Janiero. Sometimes they just did little things like go out for ramen or karaoke, take in a movie or play in the snow. But Sophie didn't know what to call their relationship, if it could indeed be called a relationship. They never saw each other in the flesh or talked on the phone. The only proof that there was anything going on between them was the occasional cryptic messages on his cyworld but even in their dreams, Yoochun was...evasive.
One week ago, Yoochun was sitting on the living room floor of the apartment in Tokyo that he shared with the other members of TVXQ. He was staring at the clock. It was their anniversary tonight. What the fuck do I do for a girl I only spend time with in my head?
Changmin, who was lounging in the loveseat with his long legs draped over one of the arms of said chair, looked up from his book about lucha libre and inquired, "Why don't you tell that nice girl you love her? I love you with all my heart, if I don't see you soon, I'm gonna die."
"Min, you need to stop quoting from The Godfather and stay the fuck out of my head," snapped Yoochun.
"Ooh, a bit defensive, aren't you?" Changmin cackled mercilessly, but when he saw Yoochun's face, full of conflicting emotions, his demeanor softened and he whispered, "Hyung. Why don't you tell her you love her?"
Yoochun turned away. "It won't last. Nothing lasts. Not for me. I'll find a way to mess things up and break her heart. She deserves better."
Changmin's jaw dropped. "Chun, she totally wants to ride your peen in real life. You know that, right?"
Yoochun grunted. "First of all, it creeps me the fuck out that you know these things. Secondly, I could walk outside and find five girls in as many seconds that want the same thing."
Changmin sighed. "She loves you, hyung." Yoochun looked up at Changmin, who continued. "I see her energy signatures all over you. She's a Psion, isn't she?"
"Yeah."
"If she sensed anything unworthy about you, do you think she'd still be waiting for your dumb ass to make some sort of commitment?" When Yoochun said nothing, Changmin added, "Fucking man up, will you? Just because your parents split up, that doesn't make you destined to fail at love or whatever."
Yoochun rubbed his eyes, got to his feet, stretched and yawned. "I'm hitting the sack. Don't eavesdrop, Min."
~
Yoochun ran through the snow until he saw the shock of Sophie's dark red hair as she was sitting on a park bench facing away from him, her face tilted to the sky. She'd cut her long, wavy locks short and they'd quarreled about it the last time they were together. Honestly, he was surprised that she was even bothering to show up.
He was late. They would have even less time than usual. Yoochun's stomach clenched as he approached her. Crouching behind the park bench, he wrapped his arms around Sophie's shoulders and felt her sigh and melt into him. Finally, he could let himself relax. "Hap-Hi, there," he whispered into her ear.
She looked up at him and her mouth smiled but her eyes did not. "Hi."
"So..."
"So."
"You look nice. Dark green is a good color on you."
"Thank you."
There was something about the stilted way she was speaking. It unnerved him. Yoochun cleared his throat. "Do you want to walk?"
"Yes, that would be nice."
Yoochun moved to lace his fingers together with Sophie's, but she quickened her pace. He paused, confused, but quickly recovered. "Where are we?"
Steadily, she answered. "Lincoln Park, Chicago."
"Ah, back to the beginning, eh?"
"You could say that."
"Christmas again?"
"New Year's Eve." Sophie stopped and faced Lake Michigan. It was almost midnight and the fireworks were about to start. They were supposed to have caught a movie at the Music Box first, but he was too late for that. Oh well.
Yoochun spoke. "Do you know what I was doing last New Year's Eve?"
"No."
"Thinking about you." In the distance, Yoochun could hear the thousands of people gathered at Grant Park starting to count down from ten. Again, he tried to take her hand in his and this time he was successful. "I...I care about you Sophie. A lot." Yoochun shut his eyes tight to try to get the image of a scowling Changmin out of his mind.
7...6...5...
Sophie didn't stir at first. When she spoke, her voice was small, strained. "Do you love me, Yoochun-ah?"
Yoochun froze.
3...2...1. Happy New Year!
Sophie turned and looked into his eyes. Teardrops had frozen and clung to her cheeks and eyelashes. He blinked.
"That's what I thought. Happy Fucking Anniversary." Sophie let go of his hand and began to walk towards the lake again.
Yoochun ran after her. "What do you want from me?"
A nearby car started its engine. As it warmed up, out of its stereo came Charles Aznavour's "She". Yoochun wondered if that was her subconscious screaming out to him, but she turned and shouted, "I want you! I want to wake up and have you still there with me."
"You know that's impossible. We live on the road in completely different hemispheres. Even if we could make our schedules work, there are the fangirls."
"Oh yes. The fangirls. You care more about them than you do about me."
"That's not true! I just don't want you to get hurt."
Sophie called over her shoulder. "Wow, you're just doing a bang-up job of that, aren't you?"
"Hey, aren't you a fangirl? Because I seem to remember seeing you in the front row of one of my concerts."
Sophie froze. "Did you just compare me to a groupie?"
Make it quick, Yoochun. Just like ripping off a band-aid. That way it'll hurt less. "What, did you think you were my girlfriend?"
It broke his heart to see her face fall, but this was for her own good. He just wasn't prepared for her response. "I thought I was your She."
"What?"
"Shisus, Chun. Learn the lyrics. Maybe you won't mangle them next time."
"Fuck you."
Sophie bent down briefly, then stood back up. She had a snowball in her hand and she chucked it at Yoochun's face. Hard. She looked surprised that he had let her do it, but then she turned and ran. This time, he didn't try to follow her. Instead, he sat down on a nearby park bench and tried to will himself to wake up. He heard Changmin's voice.
"That was fucking weak."
"I thought I told you to stay out of my head."
"And I did, until your weak shit woke me up."
"Leave me alone."
"Fine."
"Good."
"I will."
"Do it, then."
Suddenly, Park Yoochun was alone. And he wept bitterly until he woke himself up crying.
~
Sophie Bangs had slept in dreamless sleep for days. She hadn't gone onto the internet, she hadn't listened to her iPod, she hadn't eaten ramen, she hadn't gone to the movies and she hadn't played her piano. As if that wasn't enough, she seemed to have come down with a nasty case of the flu as she was sore all over and couldn't keep anything down but crackers and tea. There were too many things in her life that reminded her of Yoochun and she didn't want to give him the chance to creep back under her skin again; that is, until she heard the news. After sitting on the floor, shaking and crying for three hours, she checked her email and read the urgent message from Frequency. It was worse than she had thought.
It was at that point that she packed a backpack with only the absolute essentials, stepped outside of her apartment in San Francisco's Inner Sunset, rose herself up into the air and took off at supersonic speed towards Seoul.