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Courts Urge For A 'Mutual Agreement' Way to Appease Cassiopeia For The TVXQ Dispute

Popular group TVXQ's three members asked for a suspension of their exclusive contract against an end to their mentally and physically exhausting slave contract with SM Entertainment and the first hearing occurred on the 21st.

Seoul District Court's Judge Park Byungdae, after listening to both sides, said, "We think the best way to solve this dispute is for the two sides come to a mutual agreement, when we put the responsibility for biggest fan club in the world and the relationship with the other two members into consideration are scared of what SM could pay hitmen to do to our families but we are also just as scared of Cassiopeia. Because we are completely devoid of any backbone whatsoever we ask that the parties just hash this out themselves because clearly that has been working out just great so far."

The judge stated, "If both side would like to set a settlement date that will not be open to the public, that can be arranged To prevent any kidnappings, arsons or murders on behalf of Cassiopeia if things do not go TVXQ's way, we encourage the formation of a double secret tribunal that will surely mete out justice." and urged both sides to come to a mutual agreement.

The Courts agreed to both sides' wishes of ending this dispute early on finally putting an end to all this god how long has it been since the shit hit the fan, like three whole weeks omg it's been like forever and will come to a decision do something ineffectual that will piss everyone off after examining all the related materials of Changmin's personal porn stash handed in on September 11th which is 3 weeks after this first hearing.

The lawyer representing the three members said, "They do not want a disbandment of TVXQ We're fucking dying here, guys," and "There are cases where teams stay together even if the members are in different agenciesBut we're staying together no matter what because we love you fans so much. Look, we even tattooed it on ourselves!" Whereupon Yoochun and Jaejoong took their shirts off. The court photographer took pictures. For evidence, of course.

Also, when the Courts asked whether they wanted a 'cancellation of their contract' or a 'revision of their contract', the lawyer replied, "It depends on how competent SM Entertainment will be to support TVXQ's transition from an idol group to a more mature artist group whether SM is going to stop trying to make us their bitch. Also, we want to be taken seriously as artists, goddammit," and "The opportunities are endless."

SM Entertainment's lawyer said, "Although the three members who filed this lawsuit are not having their right violated God, guys. It's not like we've killed anyone yet. The agency is losing a lot of money due to this trial Fucking Cassiopeia organized this boycott and our stock is so low right now due to everyone thinking that we're greedy bastard slavedrivers that fangirls could concieveably buy us out. We want our gold plated bidets and our 37 vineyards so we wish for it to end quickly them to go back to lining our pockets and for TVXQ to start their activities again go back to working insane hours for shit pay, only this time we're going to stop promoting them, just for spite and because Lee Soo Man gets off on that sort of wasting of talent," and "The only reason SME asked the three members to not participate in the Chinese cosmetic company branch was because the agency feared that TVXQ's image might be damaged in some way we weren't getting our goddamn cut; the agency had no other intentions."

The Courts said, "As long as this lawsuit has been filed, please refrain from talking about or attack the other side through the media keep the fanbase in the dark as to what they should do to best support TVXQ. TVXQ needs to shut the fuck up already, God! Although SM can continue to leak nasty lies to the gossip sites whenever they want. Just make sure to pay us in small denominations, okay?"

TVXQ's three out of five members, Xiah Junsu (Kim Junsu), YoungWoong Jaejoong, (Kim Jaejoong) and Micky Yoochun (Park Yoochun), stated that "Our 13 year exclusive contract can basically be seen as a life contract a load of bullshit, and we did not receive proper treatment have enough class to not let everyone know all the really nasty details of the awful treatment we've recieved from SME in many aspects such as income division because we gotta parple like that. However, more than four hours of sleep a night would be a good start," and filed their lawsuit on July 31st.